Friday, October 22, 2004

Today's Dumb Headlines

Man Wears 'Cocaine' T-Shirt in Court
HONG KONG (AP) - It was not the best legal defense strategy: A Hong Kong man appeared in court on drug charges wearing a T-shirt that said "cocaine" and drew a stern rebuke from the magistrate, a newspaper reported Thursday.
Ho Heng-chau pleaded guilty to possession of three ecstasy pills, but while his lawyer was arguing for a lenient sentence on Wednesday the magistrate noticed the T-shirt, according to the Apple Daily newspaper.
"Do you know you're appearing in court?" Magistrate Ernest Lin was quoted as saying. "What are you doing wearing a 'cocaine' T-shirt? You might as well carry a sign that says 'I'm a drug head.'"

Norwegian Prisoner Hires Exotic Dancer
OSLO, Norway (AP) - Hoping to boost morale among his fellow inmates, a Norwegian prisoner secretly hired an exotic dancer to spice up the prison's monthly culture night. The woman got all her clothes off, to the cheers of the male inmates, before guards could react on Wednesday night at the Hof minimum security prison in southern Norway.
"Everything had been agreed in advance with the inmates, who also had permission to invite the woman," warden Kjesti Solberg told the P4 radio network Thursday. "What we didn't know was that the hired dancer could do more than dance."
"By the end, she was completely naked," Solberg said, adding the woman danced on stage for a few minutes before guards hustled her off to the roar of the inmates' laughter.

Disc jockey faces tax charge after on-air remarks
NEW YORK (AP) The radio personality known as the ``Crazy Cabbie'' is in trouble because of one of his outrageous remarks.
Law enforcement sources told the Associated Press that the ``Crazy Cabbie,'' a frequent guest on Howard Stern's radio show and an overnight disc jockey on WXRK-FM, faces a tax-related charge. Two law enforcement officials say an Internal Revenue Service investigation began after he made on-air comments about avoiding his taxes.

Dog is a Cell-Phone Retreiver
Murdoch the mongrel from the SPCA and his border collie mate Grubby are the heroes of the house in the small settlement of Kaukapakapa northwest of Auckland. Between them the two young dogs probably saved the life of their owner, Auckland nurse Michelle Trainor.
For four hours 14-week-old Grubby stayed with her at the bottom of the bank, keeping her warm and giving her strength as she lay in the rain, semi-conscious, in shock and with a tree branch sticking out of her chest.
After a few hours, possibly three, she heard her cellphone ringing halfway down the bank where it had fallen out as she fell and sent eight-month-old Murdoch after it. "Blow me down, he comes trotting back. He went halfway up the hill and comes trotting back with this phone in his mouth -- tail straight up in the air wagging, -- you know look at me, look at me, with this bloody cellphone in his mouth. I just couldn't believe it.
"I heard him snuffling around. I didn't think he would bring it back." After he spat it out at her feet, Miss Trainor, 33, called her husband, Lee Bird, who had already called police after arriving home to find the door open and his wife's bag on the table.